I January 2009
It is very, very cold here and although I am on the upward trend, OH is on the downward with a heavy head cold so we are staying in the warm house and watching television and generally doing not a great deal, particularly as we are both rather short on sleep.

We watched the fireworks from the London Eye last night and found them spectacular, although rather spoiled for us by the commentator seemingly unable to keep quiet and just watch. I was impressed by the size of the crowd and their evident delight in the display. We had planned an early night and were indeed watching from a comfy bed but would not have been able to sleep as periodically, bangers were set off from all around us.  We live on the upward slope of a hill so that the noise comes at us as though in an amphitheatre and is extremely loud.

This morning has been white with frost and some sunshine but the neighbours are quite rightly staying in - there has been no sound of the children playing with their Christmas bikes or general playing so they must be feeling the cold as well.  The birds have been fed but we don't seem to be able to give them water because as soon as we put out fresh it freezes.

7 January 2009
The doctor says my chest is clear which is good news but the bad news is an acute sinus infection. Antibiotics have been prescribed but I don't have to take them unless it is absolutely necessary and that is in my hands and my decision to make.

I am fortunate in having a GP who treats me like an adult and is also clear about FM which is vastly reassuring. The lady doctor whom I saw regularly last autumn told me that "this practice does not believe in fibromyalgia".  Really, so I am making all this up then?  That has turned out to be only her opinion as I asked the Practice Manager to follow this up for me and I am sure she has no idea of the distress her comment caused.  I will just avoid seeing her in future.

So, a grim, mizzly day with intermittent snow showers and instructions to rest, keep warm and drink lots of hot drinks - well who could resist? Apparently this flu virus is attacking different people in different ways and I am so glad that my weak chest was not picked on! OH is still struggling but returning to the office tomorrow so we shall see how that goes - one of the perks of retirement is that I don't have to convince anyone that I am poorly. Mind you, anyone seeing the mound of tissues we have both got through in the last fortnight would have no doubt that we are two dribbling people.

10 January 2009
It has been bitterly cold here and I was planning to return some earrings which OH had bought for me for Christmas - they are really beautiful but sadly, he bought the same pair last Christmas so I was going to brave the shop and ask if they could replace them with an alternative.

We are both still feeling pretty grim and I have given in to the antibiotics as the pain in my face and ear was becoming a bit too much to bear so we were not particularly early getting going. Whilst I was drying my hair I could hear clanking from the kitchen and when I went downstairs, OH had begun to defrost the upright, built-in freezer.

I am ashamed to say that this horrible job had been waiting to be done for some months but I did not expect him to start it just as we were going out. I produced the steam cleaner which was supposed to speed things up and an hour and a half later the kitchen was awash, the back of the units required towels to mop up and the defrosting was still not finished!

So we shopped locally.

18 January 2009
Yesterday was a strange day. I felt better so OH and I decided to go to town to see about exchanging some earrings and the girls in the jewellers could not have been more helpful or sweet.  I have ended up with a lovely pair of yellow gold which will go with anything and they are also attempting to have  a bangle repaired which had snapped in two.

OH was too shy to come to the shop with me so when I had finished there I went to the stationers and was so intent on finding OH that I left the bag with the jewellery in it on the counter at the well-known shop and did not realise until I was half way up the main shopping street.

Certainly someone was looking after me as the bag had been retrieved and put behind the counter and the girls there said they had been most concerned. I am not fit to be let out!

Then Fil summoned us on the mobile as he was most unhappy and wanted to be rescued and escape from this awful place where we had put him. We did our shopping in the big Tesco and then called on the way home. He demanded to live with us, then with OH's brother (who lives in Kent) so we had the whole roundabout conversation again. He does now acknowledge that he cannot remember anything and I thought his speech was more slurred but anyway the net result is that he wanted us to take him out twice a week to the pub for a drink!

We have compromised with taking him out for lunch today although it is very cold and I worry about him as he is so frail and usually does not leave the well-heated home but there is nothing else we can do.

2 February 2009
Snow, snow and more snow!  I am not venturing out and at midday the decision was taken to cancel tonight's Choral Society practice.

My ears are now  sore after spending some time on the phone about tonight's rehearsal - 70 members to be advised between two of us although some people generously phoned a few which cut the list down a bit.   Although we do take e-mail addresses we could not be sure everyone would pick up their messages so we have to do it the old-fashioned way. A bonus is that we get to chat to singers from other sections of the choir which is nice - we are usually far too busy singing to chat!

The threat is that worse snow is on the way so I will retreat to the warmth in the house although I did put out food for the birds earlier and was most amused to see the struggles of the blackbird who was determined to eat the sultanas and whose legs kept skating away underneath him.  I always put the food for the ground-feeders in the same place so he and the robin determinedly attacked the snow where they just knew there would be food and were rewarded.

They give me endless pleasure.

5 February 2009
I knew that today was going to be a bit difficult when I realised that my cousin, who lives on top of a mountain in North Wales, was going to be unable to visit owing to the snow; that I was housebound for a further half-day at least and whilst I am feeling well that is irksome; that I put my knickers on back to front and didn't realise until I had put on my trousers; that the milk was still in the freezer and had to be squeezed into my tea; that I had run out of my favourite fruit loaf for breakfast; that I had forgotten to take the laundry out of the machine and that my computer crashed on re-boot so that I had to spend at least four hours with phone calls to OH and beloved son which still did not quite sort it out.

I am still dealing with the memories raised from my old friend's funeral last week and yesterday received a letter from my ex-OH which is no longer usual (although they used to be a constant bug-bear) which I opened unthinkingly as I assumed it was to do with the family tree I am working on for my son. Not so, it was an emotional letter which again stirred up all sorts of mud from the bottom of a very long-past relationship and caused me some concerns although my lovely OH talked it all through with me, the stains of the hurts remain and I shall have to deal with them.

So, it was no great surprise when, having finally got the computer to behave and having removed the program which was somehow not working I gaily deleted both of my back-up external hard drives in order to re-back up everything except . . . I had put all my pictures, photographs and stuff for my website and all my music on one of the externals in order to speed up the C drive on this one and with one stroke I had lost them all. Scanned in photos of my family, OH's family, hours of work all gone.

I did sniffle a bit I confess and thankfully, OH has come to the rescue with a program which his IT people have given him (along with much smirking at my stupidity) and he is now retrieving it all as I speak. He is a gem and so are his IT people.

The care home rang saying that Fil was ill again as he had been on Monday and now, nearly five hours later, we are awaiting their call to see what is happening.

12 February 2009
I had to attend the nurse at my surgery for a blood test and whilst I was waiting for my appointment, a couple around my age accompanied by a small girl, came in the back entrance, the lady and small girl used the loo then waited whilst the man did the same and then they walked out to their car in the car park and drove off.

I sat open-mouthed. If I were desperate and near the surgery I would ask at Reception if it was all right to use the facilities but this couple did not even do that - simply walked in and walked out again. Very curious.

This morning it was very cold and there were still rags of snow looking like abandoned plastic bags all around but by this afternoon it had all disappeared. Kinder Scout looked beautiful, being both brown and white but this evening it is all change and is raining. At least I can get out in the rain!

22 February 2009
Yesterday was nearly fine so we drove over the hills to another town to do our shopping there for a change.  The hills were threaded with snow still lying in the lee of the dry stone walls and the horizons were visible as the air was clear.  It was absolutely beautiful and when we were home and making tea we were rewarded with the site of a Jenny Wren taking a very tentative bath in our bird bath which is obviously a bit deep for comfort for such a tiny bird which kept dipping it's wings in the edge of the water and tossing it over it's body.  In all the years I have fed birds and looked out for them I have never seen a wren venture in the bird bath.  It was wonderful to watch.

One of the local newspapers carried a story on Valentine's Day and our church was in it including a picture of OH and myself which was unexpected. I saw my son on Friday and showed him the cutting from the paper. "Not bad", he said "it's a healthy-looking photo of you anyway".

Only family could say that and get away with it!

6 January 2009
Well, I have been out and survived. OH had to work yesterday because he is, of course, invaluable but is taking today and tomorrow off so I had him with me for my first venture which made things much easier. Kinder Scout in the snow is magnificent with the sun on the white slopes glittering - despite it being colder up here there are so many compensations. It was -5 degrees at about 11.30 but I think it is probably a bit warmer now; the air was so clear it took my breath away although I quickly covered my mouth with a scarf otherwise I wouldn't have got anywhere!

My lovely car started first time despite not having been used for over two weeks and buried under a blanket of snow so I know that I will be OK for the doctor tomorrow.  Also, my splendid cleaner has been so the house is fresh and smelling delightful.  M lives in the next village about three miles away and reports that of her family she is the only one to have escaped whatever this horrible bug is so it is good to know that we have not just been singled out specially.