31 July 2008
The care home viewing was a bit like the curate's egg but the best and the last, was superior in every way. Only 4.5 miles from us, on the way home for OH, a purpose-built unit dedicated to dementia care, brand new rooms, a menu which my friend and I would have been happy to join for lunch, EMI status which I think means 24 hour nursing - in short a really lovely, secure place in which I am sure he will be happy and half the cost of south London homes. We started at 10 am (my friend who is now of course, minus Juno, the dog) and finished up having lunch about 1.15 pm having viewed several homes and it reminded me of moving house which I have done 16/17 times in my life and it was just as tiring!
The social worker from the hospital rang and it became evident that she had not seen Fil; the nursing staff were unaware that he has vascular dementia; they have no idea whether he has undergone a psychiatric assessment anywhere and are waiting to see if the urinary tract infection which is being treated will somehow cure miraculously the dementia. Needless to say it was this very same, two year old hospital, who made the diagnosis in the first place!
The sooner he is out of there the better although OH was completely shocked at the dementia residents he saw in the home when he came to visit it this evening with me - he should have been with us today and seen some of the sights we did - oh and the niffs as well! This dementia problem is so widespread and is quite scary so I hope that when I am in that sorry state I will simply not care! I was forced to visit the doctor this afternoon as my asthma has flared up so have another course of the dreaded steroids to take but I am sure I will be much better when the Fil situation is sorted out.
The care home viewing was a bit like the curate's egg but the best and the last, was superior in every way. Only 4.5 miles from us, on the way home for OH, a purpose-built unit dedicated to dementia care, brand new rooms, a menu which my friend and I would have been happy to join for lunch, EMI status which I think means 24 hour nursing - in short a really lovely, secure place in which I am sure he will be happy and half the cost of south London homes. We started at 10 am (my friend who is now of course, minus Juno, the dog) and finished up having lunch about 1.15 pm having viewed several homes and it reminded me of moving house which I have done 16/17 times in my life and it was just as tiring!
The social worker from the hospital rang and it became evident that she had not seen Fil; the nursing staff were unaware that he has vascular dementia; they have no idea whether he has undergone a psychiatric assessment anywhere and are waiting to see if the urinary tract infection which is being treated will somehow cure miraculously the dementia. Needless to say it was this very same, two year old hospital, who made the diagnosis in the first place!
The sooner he is out of there the better although OH was completely shocked at the dementia residents he saw in the home when he came to visit it this evening with me - he should have been with us today and seen some of the sights we did - oh and the niffs as well! This dementia problem is so widespread and is quite scary so I hope that when I am in that sorry state I will simply not care! I was forced to visit the doctor this afternoon as my asthma has flared up so have another course of the dreaded steroids to take but I am sure I will be much better when the Fil situation is sorted out.
30 July 2008
We have had real problems with Fil with phone calls at 1.15 am and 5 am and a sense that he has completely lost touch with reality. He is now in hospital, dehydrated, not having been properly looked after or medicated and the personnel there (sorry to anyone who is a nurse or in the caring profession) are so hide-bound by regulations that when OH, who is after all his son, rang to enquire after him was told that he couldn't be told anything but perhaps could speak to the neighbours who had been in to see him that day! She did ask if we were going to call in but OH said that 225 miles was a bit much to manage in an evening and in any case OH's brother lives only a few miles away and so will visit.
Words fail us; the hospital are apparently quite prepared to discharge him to his home despite my telling them that the GP had categorically stated that there was no way he could live alone with a care package. The GP's thoughtful (!) words to me when he had called the ambulance on Monday were "this experiment has failed" which made me feel desperate as I was not aware that Fil's well-being was in any way an experiment. Apparently, it was not only us who had received calls but he had been pestering any neighbour for whom he had a phone number at all times of day and night.
I have spent two days with the phone glued to either ear trying to unscramble things put in place for his care four months ago or trying to convince the hospital that he requires a psychiatric assessment, not just the social worker and the nurse deciding whether or not he is capable of going home and looking after himself; this seems to be a novel suggestion as far as they are concerned and the Ward Sister grudgingly said that she would put it on his notes. The fact that he now weighs considerably less than he did four months ago is because apparently the care workers are not permitted to give him food unless he agrees because it may breach his human rights - his wife of 63 years used to put the food in front of him without any discussion and he ate it - how is he going to change at age 88?? Tomorrow a good friend and I are going to view care homes around here and have a nice lunch out which will be just what I need.
We have had real problems with Fil with phone calls at 1.15 am and 5 am and a sense that he has completely lost touch with reality. He is now in hospital, dehydrated, not having been properly looked after or medicated and the personnel there (sorry to anyone who is a nurse or in the caring profession) are so hide-bound by regulations that when OH, who is after all his son, rang to enquire after him was told that he couldn't be told anything but perhaps could speak to the neighbours who had been in to see him that day! She did ask if we were going to call in but OH said that 225 miles was a bit much to manage in an evening and in any case OH's brother lives only a few miles away and so will visit.
Words fail us; the hospital are apparently quite prepared to discharge him to his home despite my telling them that the GP had categorically stated that there was no way he could live alone with a care package. The GP's thoughtful (!) words to me when he had called the ambulance on Monday were "this experiment has failed" which made me feel desperate as I was not aware that Fil's well-being was in any way an experiment. Apparently, it was not only us who had received calls but he had been pestering any neighbour for whom he had a phone number at all times of day and night.
I have spent two days with the phone glued to either ear trying to unscramble things put in place for his care four months ago or trying to convince the hospital that he requires a psychiatric assessment, not just the social worker and the nurse deciding whether or not he is capable of going home and looking after himself; this seems to be a novel suggestion as far as they are concerned and the Ward Sister grudgingly said that she would put it on his notes. The fact that he now weighs considerably less than he did four months ago is because apparently the care workers are not permitted to give him food unless he agrees because it may breach his human rights - his wife of 63 years used to put the food in front of him without any discussion and he ate it - how is he going to change at age 88?? Tomorrow a good friend and I are going to view care homes around here and have a nice lunch out which will be just what I need.
19 July 2008
Well, what a grim couple of days. There has been enough rain to make the water butt overflow and leak from the side and yes, to heck with our carbon footprint, we have had the heating on - in July! Not as often as my neighbours but enough to be scandalous and my excuse is that with FM you have to be careful not to become too chilled as that flares up all my joints.
A couple of days ago we journeyed off to Manchester to see Kylie. Not one of my favourite performers but OH has always loved her and we went to the Showgirl concert two years ago and even I had to agree it was fabulous. She works really hard - on stage and performing for the best part of two and a half hours practically non-stop. This one was not a patch on Showgirl so I think that has cured OH of some of his partiality and the fact that it took us over half an hour to get out of the multi-storey car park, thus not arriving home until about 12.30 am was enough for him to say that he didn't want to do that again. Sigh of relief from me although I am always glad to see a live show.
Sadly, my neighbour has had to take Juno the rescue dog back to the kennels from where she came as she appeared to be almost untrainable- she was particularly slow to be house-trained which is quite awful to live with. Despite spending quite a lot of money on a dog-behaviourist, taking advice from anyone who would give it, obedience classes etc., for the last six months the dog has been ruling and controlling her life which is not good so we are going out for lunch on Tuesday as a consolation (any excuse really).
Well, it is the church fair today and so far it is dry.
Well, what a grim couple of days. There has been enough rain to make the water butt overflow and leak from the side and yes, to heck with our carbon footprint, we have had the heating on - in July! Not as often as my neighbours but enough to be scandalous and my excuse is that with FM you have to be careful not to become too chilled as that flares up all my joints.
A couple of days ago we journeyed off to Manchester to see Kylie. Not one of my favourite performers but OH has always loved her and we went to the Showgirl concert two years ago and even I had to agree it was fabulous. She works really hard - on stage and performing for the best part of two and a half hours practically non-stop. This one was not a patch on Showgirl so I think that has cured OH of some of his partiality and the fact that it took us over half an hour to get out of the multi-storey car park, thus not arriving home until about 12.30 am was enough for him to say that he didn't want to do that again. Sigh of relief from me although I am always glad to see a live show.
Sadly, my neighbour has had to take Juno the rescue dog back to the kennels from where she came as she appeared to be almost untrainable- she was particularly slow to be house-trained which is quite awful to live with. Despite spending quite a lot of money on a dog-behaviourist, taking advice from anyone who would give it, obedience classes etc., for the last six months the dog has been ruling and controlling her life which is not good so we are going out for lunch on Tuesday as a consolation (any excuse really).
Well, it is the church fair today and so far it is dry.
11 July 2008
Orange slugs abound in the garden along with the really destructive little ones very plentiful and I have resorted to pellets in my ornamental pots. This is on the grounds that the frogs in the garden are so fat that they are not able to jump up into them and remain skulking in the undergrowth which is far too plentiful, owing to the fact that the weather has been so awful it resembles a jungle. I despair of any dry spells when I can get out and tame the beast - oh and the slugs as well.
I returned to my old church yesterday evening for a festival marking it's 450 years and it was certainly a bittersweet occasion. It is now a year since I was there singing in the choir but I know that I have made the right decision to attend the one I am at now and that was good for me. The weather was dreadful - torrential rain and I sat through the service with wet trousers and cold, wet feet and in consequence on Saturday, I suffered what my Mum used to call a chill on my tummy (whether such a thing exists is questionable, of course) and am still suffering a bit.
Orange slugs abound in the garden along with the really destructive little ones very plentiful and I have resorted to pellets in my ornamental pots. This is on the grounds that the frogs in the garden are so fat that they are not able to jump up into them and remain skulking in the undergrowth which is far too plentiful, owing to the fact that the weather has been so awful it resembles a jungle. I despair of any dry spells when I can get out and tame the beast - oh and the slugs as well.
I returned to my old church yesterday evening for a festival marking it's 450 years and it was certainly a bittersweet occasion. It is now a year since I was there singing in the choir but I know that I have made the right decision to attend the one I am at now and that was good for me. The weather was dreadful - torrential rain and I sat through the service with wet trousers and cold, wet feet and in consequence on Saturday, I suffered what my Mum used to call a chill on my tummy (whether such a thing exists is questionable, of course) and am still suffering a bit.
2 July 2008
Funny weather this - very hot yesterday and thunder and today cooler with the odd very hard shower. I suppose this is global warming.
Funny weather this - very hot yesterday and thunder and today cooler with the odd very hard shower. I suppose this is global warming.
29 June 2008
The planned visit to Ranger was a great success apart from the journey home in torrential rain along flooded roads but apart from the usual idiots on the road all went well. I wish I had taken more notice as I drove past my church on the way home as thieves were apparently in the process of stealing all the lead from the church roof. Of course this meant that the torrential rain found it's way into the Vicar's vestry and the odour in church today was a little odd!
Yesterday, OH and I went over to the Wirral to meet up with big Sis and her OH at their home. From there we got on a train and journeyed under the Mersey to the place where three of us were born; unfortunately for him OH is a southerner. Liverpool looked wonderful, it was windy - well it always is - but dry and bits of sun and I wandered about bemused as the city has managed a transformation which is quite stunning; buildings of glass, warm sandstone and brick, walkways with views, the river with fish and the best bit of all - a return trip on the ferry to Birkenhead.
When I was young the ferries were a perfectly normal method of going "over the water" and the alternative was the underground railway as sadly, the overhead railway was decommissioned in 1953 and I am certain that it had been unsafe long before that! Now the ferry runs only once an hour instead of every 20 minutes and the wonderful floating landing stage is no longer as it sank some years ago but there was a pontoon platform in it's place. The views are spectacular but I don't think that the new buildings are all in harmony and this rather spoils the "Three Graces" which are being cleaned to restore them to their former glory. I was particularly impressed with all the Superlambananas all around and the lighthearted atmosphere - City of Culture it may be but the legendary Liverpool humour is still evident.
In Birkenhead we found our way into the most extraordinary pub which was small, dark and full of wood and wrought iron. We called in because both Sis and I needed the loo and neither of us felt comfortable just calling in for this purpose; in the event the characters more than justified the drink! Sis had found a small cafe which served scouse on a previous visit and we initiated OH into the mysteries of this dish; he was unimpressed and said it was just a lamb stew. Although I love where I now live, it is only when I return "home" that I realise how much I have missed the enormous sky, the view of the Welsh hills and the smell of the sea which were all things I took for granted when I grew up there. Ah well.
The planned visit to Ranger was a great success apart from the journey home in torrential rain along flooded roads but apart from the usual idiots on the road all went well. I wish I had taken more notice as I drove past my church on the way home as thieves were apparently in the process of stealing all the lead from the church roof. Of course this meant that the torrential rain found it's way into the Vicar's vestry and the odour in church today was a little odd!
Yesterday, OH and I went over to the Wirral to meet up with big Sis and her OH at their home. From there we got on a train and journeyed under the Mersey to the place where three of us were born; unfortunately for him OH is a southerner. Liverpool looked wonderful, it was windy - well it always is - but dry and bits of sun and I wandered about bemused as the city has managed a transformation which is quite stunning; buildings of glass, warm sandstone and brick, walkways with views, the river with fish and the best bit of all - a return trip on the ferry to Birkenhead.
When I was young the ferries were a perfectly normal method of going "over the water" and the alternative was the underground railway as sadly, the overhead railway was decommissioned in 1953 and I am certain that it had been unsafe long before that! Now the ferry runs only once an hour instead of every 20 minutes and the wonderful floating landing stage is no longer as it sank some years ago but there was a pontoon platform in it's place. The views are spectacular but I don't think that the new buildings are all in harmony and this rather spoils the "Three Graces" which are being cleaned to restore them to their former glory. I was particularly impressed with all the Superlambananas all around and the lighthearted atmosphere - City of Culture it may be but the legendary Liverpool humour is still evident.
In Birkenhead we found our way into the most extraordinary pub which was small, dark and full of wood and wrought iron. We called in because both Sis and I needed the loo and neither of us felt comfortable just calling in for this purpose; in the event the characters more than justified the drink! Sis had found a small cafe which served scouse on a previous visit and we initiated OH into the mysteries of this dish; he was unimpressed and said it was just a lamb stew. Although I love where I now live, it is only when I return "home" that I realise how much I have missed the enormous sky, the view of the Welsh hills and the smell of the sea which were all things I took for granted when I grew up there. Ah well.
25 June 2008
Well, we had a super concert on Saturday and despite my worries and two days of preparation, the flowers for the soloists were really good and I had enough left over for an arrangement for the church porch. I really paid for all the running around on Sunday when my FM flared up so I took a couple of strong pain-killers which had been prescribed by the GP and then spent the next two days in bed with nausea and dizziness! No chance of me ever taking them again!
Then today (my first day out) my lovely neighbour who took on the rescue dog got her hand trapped in her front door so we have spent the afternoon at the local A & E. Luckily, nothing is broken but she was shocked and feeling distinctly "off" not the least because the dog is proving much more difficult to house-train than was expected.
I have a visit to Ranger to look forward to tomorrow.
Well, we had a super concert on Saturday and despite my worries and two days of preparation, the flowers for the soloists were really good and I had enough left over for an arrangement for the church porch. I really paid for all the running around on Sunday when my FM flared up so I took a couple of strong pain-killers which had been prescribed by the GP and then spent the next two days in bed with nausea and dizziness! No chance of me ever taking them again!
Then today (my first day out) my lovely neighbour who took on the rescue dog got her hand trapped in her front door so we have spent the afternoon at the local A & E. Luckily, nothing is broken but she was shocked and feeling distinctly "off" not the least because the dog is proving much more difficult to house-train than was expected.
I have a visit to Ranger to look forward to tomorrow.
15 June 2008
It has turned out to be a sunny day here after a chilly start and I am just having a rest before going back to church for a Taizé service which is quiet and contemplative and therefore just what I need. I fear I have gone a bit overboard in the garden and have been tidying and re-planting some pots. I have discovered to my horror that there are 78 of them, thirteen hanging baskets and four large troughs and that seems a bit too many but they are so lovely, not affected by the winds which are quite strong up here and I can keep them colourful throughout the year. Possibly time to prune a few in the autumn though.
Robinson is going through a phase of not eating and we wonder what he has been catching in the garden. The medication is suspended for the moment as it is a pointless waste as it has to be given on food and he is not consuming any. At £60 for sixty tablets they are not to be taken lightly. He is also grubby as he has been rolling in the bark and his white bits are really grey. An ornery cat.
It has turned out to be a sunny day here after a chilly start and I am just having a rest before going back to church for a Taizé service which is quiet and contemplative and therefore just what I need. I fear I have gone a bit overboard in the garden and have been tidying and re-planting some pots. I have discovered to my horror that there are 78 of them, thirteen hanging baskets and four large troughs and that seems a bit too many but they are so lovely, not affected by the winds which are quite strong up here and I can keep them colourful throughout the year. Possibly time to prune a few in the autumn though.
Robinson is going through a phase of not eating and we wonder what he has been catching in the garden. The medication is suspended for the moment as it is a pointless waste as it has to be given on food and he is not consuming any. At £60 for sixty tablets they are not to be taken lightly. He is also grubby as he has been rolling in the bark and his white bits are really grey. An ornery cat.
11 June 2008
The day started off badly and went downhill from there - I rang the carer's Manager and arranged for the doctor to call.
I emphasised that we were concerned at the position in which the carer was putting himself but this backfired spectacularly. The carer duped Fil into ringing me following the conversation with his Manager and then treated me to a tirade about not "informing" on him, what did I think he was going to do with the alcohol and generally he had got hold of the wrong end of the stick, and he then threatened to stop supervising medication for Fil. I was completely thrown, very angry and tried to stop the conversation several times but in the end simply put the phone down. I was straight on to the Manager and then Fil, bless him, rang me to apologise for his carer's behaviour (as though he was responsible) and said that he had shown the carer the door and told him not to come back. I was so touched.
The outcome, after some very firm words from me, is that there is a new carer in place, the GP says Fil has not had another stroke but is definitely losing weight and we must consider residential care sooner rather than later so that he can be properly supervised. All very well but how on earth do you do that from over 200 miles away? Anyway, Fil is much happier with the new carer so perhaps it was all for the best.
The day started off badly and went downhill from there - I rang the carer's Manager and arranged for the doctor to call.
I emphasised that we were concerned at the position in which the carer was putting himself but this backfired spectacularly. The carer duped Fil into ringing me following the conversation with his Manager and then treated me to a tirade about not "informing" on him, what did I think he was going to do with the alcohol and generally he had got hold of the wrong end of the stick, and he then threatened to stop supervising medication for Fil. I was completely thrown, very angry and tried to stop the conversation several times but in the end simply put the phone down. I was straight on to the Manager and then Fil, bless him, rang me to apologise for his carer's behaviour (as though he was responsible) and said that he had shown the carer the door and told him not to come back. I was so touched.
The outcome, after some very firm words from me, is that there is a new carer in place, the GP says Fil has not had another stroke but is definitely losing weight and we must consider residential care sooner rather than later so that he can be properly supervised. All very well but how on earth do you do that from over 200 miles away? Anyway, Fil is much happier with the new carer so perhaps it was all for the best.
Crosby sunset
