15 June 2007
I don't much care for this business of getting old. My inside bit is 30 but unfortunately the outside is twice that amount. I try to practice living in the day and being thankful for what I am extremely fortunate to have but there are some days when this is particularly difficult and my creaking joints and silly stomach become a bit much and the last couple of days have been like that. The fact that last night was so chilly that we had the heating on did not help and the stories in the news seemed to contain so much that to me is commonsense but nonetheless requires a great deal of Government (our) money to tell us a conclusion which most ordinary people knew anyway. Do we need a survey to tell us that immigrants have a more unsettling effect on rural communities than towns and cities? And what is to be done about that anyway - more money thrown at what is perceived to be the "problem" to do what exactly, prove their theories.
Anyway, enough of that. The sun is breaking through the clouds and I am feeling better so will stop moaning about things I cannot change. A busy weekend ahead so that will keep me out of mischief.
I don't much care for this business of getting old. My inside bit is 30 but unfortunately the outside is twice that amount. I try to practice living in the day and being thankful for what I am extremely fortunate to have but there are some days when this is particularly difficult and my creaking joints and silly stomach become a bit much and the last couple of days have been like that. The fact that last night was so chilly that we had the heating on did not help and the stories in the news seemed to contain so much that to me is commonsense but nonetheless requires a great deal of Government (our) money to tell us a conclusion which most ordinary people knew anyway. Do we need a survey to tell us that immigrants have a more unsettling effect on rural communities than towns and cities? And what is to be done about that anyway - more money thrown at what is perceived to be the "problem" to do what exactly, prove their theories.
Anyway, enough of that. The sun is breaking through the clouds and I am feeling better so will stop moaning about things I cannot change. A busy weekend ahead so that will keep me out of mischief.
18 June 2007
Muggy and overcast but the promised thunder and heavy showers have not materialised in this part of the High Peak. It is extraordinary how the rain skirts round us - I am truly thankful that we have not been subject to the high rainfall in other parts of the country. Yesterday was spent with Ranger and his area has suffered prolonged, heavy rain and thunder and this is only 30 miles away as my friendly crow tells me; rather more when I have to do the driving.
I pondered on the way home as to why drivers will maintain a steady speed of 35 miles an hour, irrespective of the speed limit and also irrespective of the queue building up behind them on an A road with limits varying from 60 through to 30! As the road in question is one with no opportunity for overtaking as the Highways Authority has inserted numerous safety measures such as "traffic safety cameras" and "pedestrian refuges" this added a good 15 minutes to the journey and the chap in the car in question was blissfully unaware that some twenty cars were behind him. I know that this was Sunday but it is something which I have encountered before as part of the way is a route to the motorway and I do wonder how these drivers fare on the M6 or M1 - at least there you can overtake!
The drive home gave me time to ponder on the nature of relationships and how I handle them; my second marriage is a source of so much joy and acquiring a step-daughter has been splendid. My life is rich in friends and family and this so much compensates for the "growing old grumps" which assail me from time to time and which will no doubt, only increase in occurrence!
The concert of Saturday was splendid and went off smoothly and my head was full of music and still is; I managed to catch the glorious singing of the Cardiff Singer of the Year finalists and thought the result of Shen Yang as winner was well deserved.
Muggy and overcast but the promised thunder and heavy showers have not materialised in this part of the High Peak. It is extraordinary how the rain skirts round us - I am truly thankful that we have not been subject to the high rainfall in other parts of the country. Yesterday was spent with Ranger and his area has suffered prolonged, heavy rain and thunder and this is only 30 miles away as my friendly crow tells me; rather more when I have to do the driving.
I pondered on the way home as to why drivers will maintain a steady speed of 35 miles an hour, irrespective of the speed limit and also irrespective of the queue building up behind them on an A road with limits varying from 60 through to 30! As the road in question is one with no opportunity for overtaking as the Highways Authority has inserted numerous safety measures such as "traffic safety cameras" and "pedestrian refuges" this added a good 15 minutes to the journey and the chap in the car in question was blissfully unaware that some twenty cars were behind him. I know that this was Sunday but it is something which I have encountered before as part of the way is a route to the motorway and I do wonder how these drivers fare on the M6 or M1 - at least there you can overtake!
The drive home gave me time to ponder on the nature of relationships and how I handle them; my second marriage is a source of so much joy and acquiring a step-daughter has been splendid. My life is rich in friends and family and this so much compensates for the "growing old grumps" which assail me from time to time and which will no doubt, only increase in occurrence!
The concert of Saturday was splendid and went off smoothly and my head was full of music and still is; I managed to catch the glorious singing of the Cardiff Singer of the Year finalists and thought the result of Shen Yang as winner was well deserved.
19 June 2007
I am not given to reading books more than once but some time last year I became acquainted with Precious Ramotswe of the No 1 Ladies Detective Agency and read a couple of the books. I decided to treat myself to all eight which have been written so far and have had so much enjoyment in reading them through in sequence; once one is finished I cannot wait to start on the next and am now reading the seventh in the series. In this way I have not minded re-reading the two I had already read!
Alexander McCall Smith writes deceptively simple prose, without unnecessary embellishment and has such a commonsense attitude to life that I have been completely engrossed in each book. I have never been to Botswana and the books themselves would not give me a traveller's guide by any means but the descriptions of the large skies and comparatively small lives of those about whom he writes are just marvellous. There was a report in the weekend papers that a film is to be made of some of the stories and had a picture of the actress who is to play the lead. Precious Ramotswe is a lady of traditional build, so being a traditionally built lady myself I can only welcome this as a statement that size 0 to 6 is not the only way to achieve happiness!
22 June 2007
"Well, you've done something to it"
This phrase conjours immediate feelings of fear, irritation, inadequacy and indignation at the unfairness of it. I have heard it frequently over the last couple of weeks and even whilst writing this I can feel the same stirrings of denial on my part and certainty on the part of OH , Ranger and any other IT person with whom I consult.
If I use a piece of equipment or machinery and switch it off, when I come to use it again I expect that it will work in the same way as it did on the previous occasion I used it.
My new computer does not work on this principle; whether it is the operating system (Vista) or the computer itself I do not know but I do know that there have been several occasions recently when the machine could cheerfully have been pitched out of the window. Of course, when asking for help from the men in my life who can help it is that phrase which causes my blood pressure to rise and my courtesy to fly away! If I had done something to it of which I was aware, I would know that - saying that I have changed a file name or moved something is not awfully helpful when I know that all I have done is switched the wretched thing off and switched it on again!!
The latest crisis came about when I logged on last night to post a few irrelevancies and discovered that, following some essential updates which Windows downloaded, all the pictures on my web site had gone. I have spent some considerable time and energy replacing them and hoping that they will not get lost again.
Preventative measures have been taken and I will not ask for help unless I am desperate; I do not include in this rant my son, who usually responds with the utmost patience when I phone in desperation but is, of course, limited by the fact that he cannot see my screen so the conversation does tend to become tortuous.
I am sure that improvements to Vista will iron out a lot of the problems; until then I will be patient and back up everything in sight against future calamities.
There, that's off my chest!
"Well, you've done something to it"
This phrase conjours immediate feelings of fear, irritation, inadequacy and indignation at the unfairness of it. I have heard it frequently over the last couple of weeks and even whilst writing this I can feel the same stirrings of denial on my part and certainty on the part of OH , Ranger and any other IT person with whom I consult.
If I use a piece of equipment or machinery and switch it off, when I come to use it again I expect that it will work in the same way as it did on the previous occasion I used it.
My new computer does not work on this principle; whether it is the operating system (Vista) or the computer itself I do not know but I do know that there have been several occasions recently when the machine could cheerfully have been pitched out of the window. Of course, when asking for help from the men in my life who can help it is that phrase which causes my blood pressure to rise and my courtesy to fly away! If I had done something to it of which I was aware, I would know that - saying that I have changed a file name or moved something is not awfully helpful when I know that all I have done is switched the wretched thing off and switched it on again!!
The latest crisis came about when I logged on last night to post a few irrelevancies and discovered that, following some essential updates which Windows downloaded, all the pictures on my web site had gone. I have spent some considerable time and energy replacing them and hoping that they will not get lost again.
Preventative measures have been taken and I will not ask for help unless I am desperate; I do not include in this rant my son, who usually responds with the utmost patience when I phone in desperation but is, of course, limited by the fact that he cannot see my screen so the conversation does tend to become tortuous.
I am sure that improvements to Vista will iron out a lot of the problems; until then I will be patient and back up everything in sight against future calamities.
There, that's off my chest!
25 June 2007
The end of a busy couple of weeks and a lot of singing so perhaps the awful weather is a blessing enabling me to catch up on housework, although it is so chilly the heating has been on! The experts tell us that global warming will make our weather warmer - someone please tell it so we can save on our heating bills, oh and of course, our "carbon footprint". I was watching a news programme whilst drinking my morning tea and, as I suppose was inevitable given that a politician was being interviewed, the jargon, catch-phrases and general buzz words were a real turn off - so I did!
The end of a busy couple of weeks and a lot of singing so perhaps the awful weather is a blessing enabling me to catch up on housework, although it is so chilly the heating has been on! The experts tell us that global warming will make our weather warmer - someone please tell it so we can save on our heating bills, oh and of course, our "carbon footprint". I was watching a news programme whilst drinking my morning tea and, as I suppose was inevitable given that a politician was being interviewed, the jargon, catch-phrases and general buzz words were a real turn off - so I did!
26 June 2007
Out to lunch today for a friend's birthday and we somehow found our way to the nearest good M & S. Having just been able to put my &More credit card online (what a stupid name that is - what's wrong with M & S?) I thought I would give it a blast.
Arrived home several pounds poorer but with a very strange collection of clothes in varying sizes. Only one top to go back, not because it doesn't fit but because it looks horrible, and the sizes range over 4 dress sizes! Time was you could go to Marks and know your size and buy accordingly and that is no longer the case. Probably because the Chinese cannot envisage anyone larger than a size 8!
Out to lunch today for a friend's birthday and we somehow found our way to the nearest good M & S. Having just been able to put my &More credit card online (what a stupid name that is - what's wrong with M & S?) I thought I would give it a blast.
Arrived home several pounds poorer but with a very strange collection of clothes in varying sizes. Only one top to go back, not because it doesn't fit but because it looks horrible, and the sizes range over 4 dress sizes! Time was you could go to Marks and know your size and buy accordingly and that is no longer the case. Probably because the Chinese cannot envisage anyone larger than a size 8!
28 June 2007
Absolutely typical! As soon as I go out to get on with some gardening, the heavens open. That sums up this week nicely. I have been feeling a bit low for various reasons and everything that could go slightly wrong has done so. It is probably a reaction to the very busy couple of weeks I have had which has meant that on days when the weather was suitable I was busy doing something else, and when I was free the weather wasn't!
We have been extremely fortunate in that although the rain has been irksome we are in no danger of flooding; if we were there would be very serious consequences as we are around 700' up a hill but the wind has been horrible and we really do catch it up here. Also no-one has phoned or called so the house has been silent and this would normally not bother me but when I am in prowling mood and house-bound it suddenly is important. Not long now until OH comes home and then I can have a good natter.
Absolutely typical! As soon as I go out to get on with some gardening, the heavens open. That sums up this week nicely. I have been feeling a bit low for various reasons and everything that could go slightly wrong has done so. It is probably a reaction to the very busy couple of weeks I have had which has meant that on days when the weather was suitable I was busy doing something else, and when I was free the weather wasn't!
We have been extremely fortunate in that although the rain has been irksome we are in no danger of flooding; if we were there would be very serious consequences as we are around 700' up a hill but the wind has been horrible and we really do catch it up here. Also no-one has phoned or called so the house has been silent and this would normally not bother me but when I am in prowling mood and house-bound it suddenly is important. Not long now until OH comes home and then I can have a good natter.
20 April 2008
During the last few weeks our lives have been in turmoil owing to the sudden death, at home in her kitchen, of OH's Mum who at 88 was the carer for her husband, also 88 who has dementia.
We had undertaken the long journey south to see them and had been incensed at the lack of help offered to this old lady in coping with the increasing burden of care; it seemed that an entirely arbitrary system of measuring his dementia was in place at the almost new hospital where he was taken following the latest in a series of small strokes in that they asked him 30 questions, of which he correctly answered 27 and from this they deduced that all was well.
I am sure that this is a recognised measure but it in no way addresses the basic fact that at times lucidity is there and at others it is not and when it is not the carer bears the brunt of such loss of faculty in a way that can only be appreciated when it has been lived with as OH and I have done following her untimely death. I was equally shocked to find from a lady at Age Concern that carers in their nineties are not unknown and it would seem that as long as you are there, whatever state you may be in physically, you are deemed able to cope. A sad indictment on the elderly in our midst.
After only being home a day the bombshell struck and we found ourselves once more on the way down the M25 but this time in such distress that the journey passed in unreality. Amazingly, all was sorted out in eight or nine days - post mortem, collecting death certificates, advising various people, arranging the funeral and Thanksgiving Service and a care package for OH's father who does not want to leave his own home.
We returned with our heads still firmly in Kent and that has continued for the past week with various problems with the caring system, food provision etc., to the extent that I have woken from a fitful sleep still thinking that we are camping out at the house and not back in our own home. The aftermath of a sudden death is complicated by not only the feelings normal to bereavement but also the shock; a happy way to go for the person concerned but to those left behind a legacy of a maelstrom of emotions which has all got to be dealt with. A good night's sleep would be a great start and I am sure that we will begin to heal now we are home.
Robinson was not happy with us and seemed torn between trying to ignore us in a huff and trying to be with us to be petted which is not usually his thing. The visit to the vet did not improve matters although he is declared Ok for his age and weighs in at a hefty 5.3 kilos - the vet just said "big cat" and left it at that.
During the last few weeks our lives have been in turmoil owing to the sudden death, at home in her kitchen, of OH's Mum who at 88 was the carer for her husband, also 88 who has dementia.
We had undertaken the long journey south to see them and had been incensed at the lack of help offered to this old lady in coping with the increasing burden of care; it seemed that an entirely arbitrary system of measuring his dementia was in place at the almost new hospital where he was taken following the latest in a series of small strokes in that they asked him 30 questions, of which he correctly answered 27 and from this they deduced that all was well.
I am sure that this is a recognised measure but it in no way addresses the basic fact that at times lucidity is there and at others it is not and when it is not the carer bears the brunt of such loss of faculty in a way that can only be appreciated when it has been lived with as OH and I have done following her untimely death. I was equally shocked to find from a lady at Age Concern that carers in their nineties are not unknown and it would seem that as long as you are there, whatever state you may be in physically, you are deemed able to cope. A sad indictment on the elderly in our midst.
After only being home a day the bombshell struck and we found ourselves once more on the way down the M25 but this time in such distress that the journey passed in unreality. Amazingly, all was sorted out in eight or nine days - post mortem, collecting death certificates, advising various people, arranging the funeral and Thanksgiving Service and a care package for OH's father who does not want to leave his own home.
We returned with our heads still firmly in Kent and that has continued for the past week with various problems with the caring system, food provision etc., to the extent that I have woken from a fitful sleep still thinking that we are camping out at the house and not back in our own home. The aftermath of a sudden death is complicated by not only the feelings normal to bereavement but also the shock; a happy way to go for the person concerned but to those left behind a legacy of a maelstrom of emotions which has all got to be dealt with. A good night's sleep would be a great start and I am sure that we will begin to heal now we are home.
Robinson was not happy with us and seemed torn between trying to ignore us in a huff and trying to be with us to be petted which is not usually his thing. The visit to the vet did not improve matters although he is declared Ok for his age and weighs in at a hefty 5.3 kilos - the vet just said "big cat" and left it at that.
9 May 2008
On top of everything else we have a poorly cat. Last Saturday Robinson came off worst in a catfrontation and spent two days hiding, not eating and generally feeling sorry for himself. By Monday we were really worried about him but as it was a Bank Holiday the visit to the vet had to wait.
Taking him anywhere in a carrier is not a happy experience. First you have to catch him, run the risk of the those half-inch claws raking bits of you which you would prefer were not attacked and then push him into the rather small opening of the carrier. Once this is done, then the whole car journey has to be endured alongside a cacophony of yowls which nothing will stop. Normally he is a very silent cat with a rusty miaow but put him in a car and he finds a whole range of vocal dexterity hitherto unsuspected. Fortunately, the vet's surgery is only a couple of miles away so the radio turned up loudly serves to drown out some of the worst bits although it does rather spoil the music. The net result was several trips backwards and forwards for an operation as he had two bites which have turned septic and his teeth required attention so whilst he was out cold, they took the opportunity to take out four teeth and clean up the remaining ones. He is a very grumpy cat at the moment having been kept in for a week and now that he is feeling better it is a real struggle to stop him launching himself at the door the moment it opens.
This morning he was in danger of a flat head as I went out to feed the birds and he thought he would seize this opportunity and flew across the kitchen floor, only to end up with his nose squashed against the door jamb. Not a happy chap. He has to go back on Tuesday and I am hoping that after that things can return to normal but how to stop him getting picked on by the local thugs - no idea.
On top of everything else we have a poorly cat. Last Saturday Robinson came off worst in a catfrontation and spent two days hiding, not eating and generally feeling sorry for himself. By Monday we were really worried about him but as it was a Bank Holiday the visit to the vet had to wait.
Taking him anywhere in a carrier is not a happy experience. First you have to catch him, run the risk of the those half-inch claws raking bits of you which you would prefer were not attacked and then push him into the rather small opening of the carrier. Once this is done, then the whole car journey has to be endured alongside a cacophony of yowls which nothing will stop. Normally he is a very silent cat with a rusty miaow but put him in a car and he finds a whole range of vocal dexterity hitherto unsuspected. Fortunately, the vet's surgery is only a couple of miles away so the radio turned up loudly serves to drown out some of the worst bits although it does rather spoil the music. The net result was several trips backwards and forwards for an operation as he had two bites which have turned septic and his teeth required attention so whilst he was out cold, they took the opportunity to take out four teeth and clean up the remaining ones. He is a very grumpy cat at the moment having been kept in for a week and now that he is feeling better it is a real struggle to stop him launching himself at the door the moment it opens.
This morning he was in danger of a flat head as I went out to feed the birds and he thought he would seize this opportunity and flew across the kitchen floor, only to end up with his nose squashed against the door jamb. Not a happy chap. He has to go back on Tuesday and I am hoping that after that things can return to normal but how to stop him getting picked on by the local thugs - no idea.
15 May 2008
My day started with a shock that my current account with an internet bank had become overdrawn by several thousand pounds because another internet bank with whom I had tried to open an on-line ISA had processed the direct debit four times. I am now sticking to my own bank who were kind enough to sort it all out (without charge to me) so a stiff letter will be in the post (encased in cardboard and weighed and sized according to the new, incomprehensible regulations introduced by Royal Mail).
I drove to see R and the journey was long, hot, complicated and generally yucky but the day improved and was lovely. That was until after lunch some idiot decided that he would move off at a junction despite the fact that I, the car in front, was still at the junction. My much loved sporty car is now sporting a decidedly bent rear bumper, I am a bit shocked and cheesed off but the good thing is that my impressively large son (over 6 foot and not to be trifled with) dealt with it all whilst I collapsed in a teary heap. It could have been much worse but on top of all the other stuff that has happened recently I could have done without it.
I am stopping moaning now and getting ready for an early night as I am quite shattered and I know that others have much worse stuff happen to them and I am grateful both that I was not alone and that I have a friendly local garage whom I am sure will sort me out.
My day started with a shock that my current account with an internet bank had become overdrawn by several thousand pounds because another internet bank with whom I had tried to open an on-line ISA had processed the direct debit four times. I am now sticking to my own bank who were kind enough to sort it all out (without charge to me) so a stiff letter will be in the post (encased in cardboard and weighed and sized according to the new, incomprehensible regulations introduced by Royal Mail).
I drove to see R and the journey was long, hot, complicated and generally yucky but the day improved and was lovely. That was until after lunch some idiot decided that he would move off at a junction despite the fact that I, the car in front, was still at the junction. My much loved sporty car is now sporting a decidedly bent rear bumper, I am a bit shocked and cheesed off but the good thing is that my impressively large son (over 6 foot and not to be trifled with) dealt with it all whilst I collapsed in a teary heap. It could have been much worse but on top of all the other stuff that has happened recently I could have done without it.
I am stopping moaning now and getting ready for an early night as I am quite shattered and I know that others have much worse stuff happen to them and I am grateful both that I was not alone and that I have a friendly local garage whom I am sure will sort me out.
18 May 2008
Sunday church was lovely this morning but this evening the Churches Together had planned a sort of Songs of Praise but not of the traditional variety - there was a keyboard, violin, guitars drums and a flute and a church choir who felt just a tad out of place but were made exceedingly welcome. Some of the stories were very humbling when you hear what others have been through and yet have not lost their Christian faith and I came home uplifted although a bit chilly as the temperature here in the High Peak has dropped. Actually we have put the heating on as our sitting room faces north and does feel the cold.
Robinson has been rolling in the newly applied bark and is really grubby but at nearly 14 he is not going to start washing himself so I will have to get out the Grubby Moggy wipes and see if that will clean him up. We have just watched two episodes of Desperate Housewives back to back and have thoroughly enjoyed them - off to bed now with a slightly more academic book so hope all sleep well.
Sunday church was lovely this morning but this evening the Churches Together had planned a sort of Songs of Praise but not of the traditional variety - there was a keyboard, violin, guitars drums and a flute and a church choir who felt just a tad out of place but were made exceedingly welcome. Some of the stories were very humbling when you hear what others have been through and yet have not lost their Christian faith and I came home uplifted although a bit chilly as the temperature here in the High Peak has dropped. Actually we have put the heating on as our sitting room faces north and does feel the cold.
Robinson has been rolling in the newly applied bark and is really grubby but at nearly 14 he is not going to start washing himself so I will have to get out the Grubby Moggy wipes and see if that will clean him up. We have just watched two episodes of Desperate Housewives back to back and have thoroughly enjoyed them - off to bed now with a slightly more academic book so hope all sleep well.
22 May 2008
A whole day to myself with no commitments - wonderful! I was told when I retired that I would wonder how I found time for work and how true that is. Different interests which I did not have time for whilst I was working have proved time consuming in the best possible way and I am glad that I am able to cope with a few things to help OH with the recent problems we have both had - even if it is just answering the phone to his Dad who grows a little more confused as the weeks go on.
Last night I sang in Carmina Burana at a local college with some music students and thoroughly enjoyed myself - we hope to have raised some money for local charities as well as giving the youngsters a chance to perform in front of an audience and also sing with some slightly more experienced singers and players and the young man on the tubular bells was really having a ball. The noise was incredible.
A whole day to myself with no commitments - wonderful! I was told when I retired that I would wonder how I found time for work and how true that is. Different interests which I did not have time for whilst I was working have proved time consuming in the best possible way and I am glad that I am able to cope with a few things to help OH with the recent problems we have both had - even if it is just answering the phone to his Dad who grows a little more confused as the weeks go on.
Last night I sang in Carmina Burana at a local college with some music students and thoroughly enjoyed myself - we hope to have raised some money for local charities as well as giving the youngsters a chance to perform in front of an audience and also sing with some slightly more experienced singers and players and the young man on the tubular bells was really having a ball. The noise was incredible.
1 June 2008
Well, we are back. Eight and a half hours drive there and today seven hours back to see Fil and assess how things are going. To think that we used to do the journey on a Friday night after work, leaving home around 6pm and arriving around 11.30 pm having had a stop for a KFC which is the only time OH will eat fast food and now that is just a pipe dream. On the way down, the M25 around Dartford had had an accident and once we were stuck we could not do anything else.
Returning home, the Satnav which I bought as a gift to cheer up OH (he is delighted with it) decided to route us back through Central London and the Congestion Charge - which would have been OK if we had any internet access whilst away (hotel is a Cloud and BT are no longer a partner and this is the only hotel within striking distance of Fil, another grrr as BT just suddenly changed things) but if you have not prepaid it costs £60, so we wiggled through Battersea and crossed the river at Richmond which I thought was splendid and enjoyed all the sights but it took a bit longer and I thought preferable to the M25. However, the South Circular was not so pretty but all went well until we reached Northampton and there had been a couple of accidents on the M1 north so we came off the motorway and drove through Derbyshire, including the Chatsworth estate and what a lovely view that was.
This takes a lot longer than pounding up the M6 but I enjoyed it and Robinson was so pleased to see us when we got home that it was all worth while.
Fil was very frail as it would seem that he is not eating the hot food that the carer is trying to get him to eat and he gets bored with the cold food. We met the carer who is a lovely young man, very kind and caring (and incidentally very handsome which I enjoyed) and we managed to put in place a key box with a 4 number code which means that the keys are accessible to the carers in an emergency and there will be no need for a neighbour to be contacted.
I confess that I made sure that we did not go to see this neighbour as I was not sure that I would be able to hide my irritation with her as she had made it clear in a phone conversation with OH before we journeyed down that this business of having a key was all too much and she felt that she was doing the caring. Age Concern and the carers have the number and she will no longer be bothered should there be an emergency.
What I am most cross about is that on the night that Mil died, the police and ambulance personnel wanted very much to take Fil away to a place of safety and these neighbours were the ones who intervened and decided that they would take responsibility for him. They were not asked to do this and in many ways it would have meant that Fil would have had a proper assessment at the time rather than the random visits which seem to take place now and he would have been slotted into the system in a way which would not have been so distressing for him and us. Having taken responsibility it is now obvious that it is too much for them which is fine but left us with a problem which I hope is now solved.
Robinson was delighted to see us although another visit to the vet has meant (apart from another large bill) more medicine as it would seem he has something wrong with his spine and possible arthritis in his back legs and a heart murmur so I have to take him back tomorrow to see what's what. Bliss to be back in my own bed.
Well, we are back. Eight and a half hours drive there and today seven hours back to see Fil and assess how things are going. To think that we used to do the journey on a Friday night after work, leaving home around 6pm and arriving around 11.30 pm having had a stop for a KFC which is the only time OH will eat fast food and now that is just a pipe dream. On the way down, the M25 around Dartford had had an accident and once we were stuck we could not do anything else.
Returning home, the Satnav which I bought as a gift to cheer up OH (he is delighted with it) decided to route us back through Central London and the Congestion Charge - which would have been OK if we had any internet access whilst away (hotel is a Cloud and BT are no longer a partner and this is the only hotel within striking distance of Fil, another grrr as BT just suddenly changed things) but if you have not prepaid it costs £60, so we wiggled through Battersea and crossed the river at Richmond which I thought was splendid and enjoyed all the sights but it took a bit longer and I thought preferable to the M25. However, the South Circular was not so pretty but all went well until we reached Northampton and there had been a couple of accidents on the M1 north so we came off the motorway and drove through Derbyshire, including the Chatsworth estate and what a lovely view that was.
This takes a lot longer than pounding up the M6 but I enjoyed it and Robinson was so pleased to see us when we got home that it was all worth while.
Fil was very frail as it would seem that he is not eating the hot food that the carer is trying to get him to eat and he gets bored with the cold food. We met the carer who is a lovely young man, very kind and caring (and incidentally very handsome which I enjoyed) and we managed to put in place a key box with a 4 number code which means that the keys are accessible to the carers in an emergency and there will be no need for a neighbour to be contacted.
I confess that I made sure that we did not go to see this neighbour as I was not sure that I would be able to hide my irritation with her as she had made it clear in a phone conversation with OH before we journeyed down that this business of having a key was all too much and she felt that she was doing the caring. Age Concern and the carers have the number and she will no longer be bothered should there be an emergency.
What I am most cross about is that on the night that Mil died, the police and ambulance personnel wanted very much to take Fil away to a place of safety and these neighbours were the ones who intervened and decided that they would take responsibility for him. They were not asked to do this and in many ways it would have meant that Fil would have had a proper assessment at the time rather than the random visits which seem to take place now and he would have been slotted into the system in a way which would not have been so distressing for him and us. Having taken responsibility it is now obvious that it is too much for them which is fine but left us with a problem which I hope is now solved.
Robinson was delighted to see us although another visit to the vet has meant (apart from another large bill) more medicine as it would seem he has something wrong with his spine and possible arthritis in his back legs and a heart murmur so I have to take him back tomorrow to see what's what. Bliss to be back in my own bed.
6 June 2008
My car was returned today restored to it's former glory and I have found my legs again. I have had the good fortune to find a wonderful, local garage (well a couple of miles away) with super blokes who do not suck the air through their teeth and pronounce that things will cost an arm and a leg and the bended bumper is now restored to unblemished smoothness although there is a distinct whiff of paint in the car.
I popped out to my nearest supermarket to pick up a few necessities and asked for shoelaces - well bootlaces to be precise - flat, brown and quite long. The "Checkout Supervisor" regretfully informed me that the supermarket was no longer stocking these items as the elf n' safety fairy had decreed that they are in some way a danger to the public. I was dumbstruck and she continued that the staff were still picking up their chins from the floor. I asked where, in that case, was I supposed to buy shoelaces and answer came there none. Hey ho.
My car was returned today restored to it's former glory and I have found my legs again. I have had the good fortune to find a wonderful, local garage (well a couple of miles away) with super blokes who do not suck the air through their teeth and pronounce that things will cost an arm and a leg and the bended bumper is now restored to unblemished smoothness although there is a distinct whiff of paint in the car.
I popped out to my nearest supermarket to pick up a few necessities and asked for shoelaces - well bootlaces to be precise - flat, brown and quite long. The "Checkout Supervisor" regretfully informed me that the supermarket was no longer stocking these items as the elf n' safety fairy had decreed that they are in some way a danger to the public. I was dumbstruck and she continued that the staff were still picking up their chins from the floor. I asked where, in that case, was I supposed to buy shoelaces and answer came there none. Hey ho.
9 June 2008
It was a bit silly of us to choose the warmest weekend and couple of days to re-do our guest room with new wardrobes etc., as painting in there has been really hard and hot. We have used the room as a dressing room for OH and a repository for things like hats, wrapping paper and generally stuff that we couldn't find a home for elsewhere so all that is strewn around the house which looks like the store-room of a charity shop. I hate the house like this so have been rather too energetic in painting and moving things so will have to take things a bit more slowly today as my FM has kicked in and I ache all over. Serves me right.
It was a bit silly of us to choose the warmest weekend and couple of days to re-do our guest room with new wardrobes etc., as painting in there has been really hard and hot. We have used the room as a dressing room for OH and a repository for things like hats, wrapping paper and generally stuff that we couldn't find a home for elsewhere so all that is strewn around the house which looks like the store-room of a charity shop. I hate the house like this so have been rather too energetic in painting and moving things so will have to take things a bit more slowly today as my FM has kicked in and I ache all over. Serves me right.
10 June 2008
Fil is confused and rings me most days, twice today. OH rang him tonight and spoke to the carer who, by chance, was at the house at 7 pm. Apparently Fil has had a fall - when we do not know but the carer confirmed that this was so. He also said that Fil had given him £50 to go out and buy some gin and wine and that was why he was there so late; he was with another person but we do not know who this was. Fil said he did not feel well and had refused food and gone to bed but spoke to OH from the phone in his bedroom.
I am so angry.
No-one told us he had fallen, no doctor had been called and as for the carer taking money for whatever purpose and then visiting together with some unknown person - words nearly fail me. I cannot do anything until tomorrow which is infuriating.
Why don't people have any common sense? Why couldn't someone ring me and tell me what's gone on so I could ring the doctor and get him to call. Fil may have had another stroke or not but the GP is the only one who can make that diagnosis and whilst we cannot do anything about him drinking whatever he wants, and at 88 is entitled to do, I am determined to find out what is going on.
Fil is confused and rings me most days, twice today. OH rang him tonight and spoke to the carer who, by chance, was at the house at 7 pm. Apparently Fil has had a fall - when we do not know but the carer confirmed that this was so. He also said that Fil had given him £50 to go out and buy some gin and wine and that was why he was there so late; he was with another person but we do not know who this was. Fil said he did not feel well and had refused food and gone to bed but spoke to OH from the phone in his bedroom.
I am so angry.
No-one told us he had fallen, no doctor had been called and as for the carer taking money for whatever purpose and then visiting together with some unknown person - words nearly fail me. I cannot do anything until tomorrow which is infuriating.
Why don't people have any common sense? Why couldn't someone ring me and tell me what's gone on so I could ring the doctor and get him to call. Fil may have had another stroke or not but the GP is the only one who can make that diagnosis and whilst we cannot do anything about him drinking whatever he wants, and at 88 is entitled to do, I am determined to find out what is going on.
